Written by: Behind Her Brand
We all have that little voice in our heads, the one that pops up just when you need encouragement the most, only to tear you down instead. You know the one—the inner critic. It’s that part of us that’s quick to judge, second-guess, and magnify our flaws. Whether it’s about your work, appearance, or any aspect of life, this voice can sometimes feel impossible to ignore. But here’s the thing: this inner critic isn’t as invincible as it seems. With a little patience and practice, we can quiet it, tame it, and maybe even turn it into a helpful companion. Here’s how.
Recognizing Your Inner Critic:
Before you can do anything about your inner critic, you need to recognize it for what it is. For me, the inner critic often rears its ugly head when I’m about to try something new. When I decided to start writing a blog, for example, I had an overwhelming urge to abandon the idea before I even wrote my first post. My inner critic immediately told me I wasn’t a good enough writer, that no one would care about what I had to say, and that I would embarrass myself in front of the world. It was loud, persistent, and honestly, kind of mean.
But here’s the important thing: I didn’t have to believe it. That voice? It wasn’t me. It was just my brain trying to protect me from failure or rejection, even if it wasn’t being very helpful in the process.
Identifying the Root Cause:
A lot of times, that inner voice comes from past experiences. Maybe you were criticized harshly when you were younger, or you internalized someone else’s judgment. For me, I remember back in school when I was told that I wasn’t good at public speaking. That comment, while intended as constructive feedback, stuck with me for years. Anytime I had to speak in front of a group, that inner critic would whisper, “You’re going to mess up. You’re not cut out for this.” It wasn’t until I really examined why I felt this way that I realized it wasn’t my own belief—it was someone else’s opinion that I had carried with me.
Understanding where your inner critic comes from is a powerful step. It helps you see that these thoughts aren’t necessarily facts, but rather echoes of past experiences or external judgments. Once you recognize that, you can challenge those thoughts instead of accepting them blindly.
Reframing Your Thoughts:
One of the most effective tools for taming the inner critic is reframing. This is where you take those negative, judgmental thoughts and flip them around to see them from a different perspective.
Take, for instance, my fear of writing. My inner critic would say, “This is going to be terrible. No one will read it.” But instead of getting stuck in that thought, I’d reframe it: “I’m new to this, and it’s okay to make mistakes. I can always improve with time, and some people might really enjoy reading what I write.”
This process of reframing not only helps you challenge your inner critic but also shifts your focus toward growth rather than fear. It gives you permission to be imperfect and to view each setback as an opportunity to improve, not as evidence of your inadequacy.
Practicing Self-Compassion:
Taming your inner critic isn’t about silencing it completely—it’s about learning to respond to it with kindness. Instead of berating yourself for feeling insecure or doubtful, you can practice self-compassion. This means acknowledging your imperfections without judgment and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.
I remember the first time I really embraced self-compassion. It was during a time when I felt like I wasn’t living up to my potential. My inner critic was relentless, telling me that I wasn’t working hard enough, that I was falling behind. But instead of beating myself up, I took a step back and asked myself, “What would I say to a friend who felt this way?” I realized I would never tell them they weren’t enough. Instead, I’d encourage them to take things one step at a time and remind them of their strengths. Why wasn’t I doing that for myself?
So, I started speaking to myself the same way I would speak to a friend in need of support. I began reminding myself that it was okay to take breaks, to make mistakes, and to not have everything figured out at once. Practicing self-compassion helped me soften the harshness of my inner critic and instead replaced it with a more nurturing, supportive voice.
Visualization: Silencing the Critic:
One technique that’s helped me immensely in quieting the inner critic is visualization. When the voice in my head gets too loud, I close my eyes and imagine it as a physical object or figure. Sometimes it looks like a grumpy old man in a suit, waving his finger at me. Other times, it’s a cartoonish villain who cackles whenever I try something new.
Once I’ve visualized my inner critic, I picture myself turning the volume down or locking it in a room where it can’t interrupt me. It may sound silly, but this little exercise works wonders. By externalizing the inner critic in this way, I can distance myself from its negativity and take control of the situation.
Sometimes, I even imagine myself gently holding my critic and thanking it for trying to protect me. It sounds a bit strange, but this small act of acknowledging that the critic’s intention is to protect me—though misguided—helps me move past the fear it generates and keep going.
The Power of Affirmations:
Affirmations are another fantastic tool for taming your inner critic. These are positive statements that help rewire your brain and promote a more optimistic mindset. I’m not saying you have to chant affirmations in front of the mirror (though that can work for some!), but taking the time to write down or think about affirmations that speak to your worth and capabilities can be incredibly effective.
Whenever I feel doubt creeping in, I like to remind myself: “I am capable. I am worthy of success. I trust myself to figure things out.” These words, repeated consistently, build confidence and slowly push back against the negative self-talk that the inner critic loves to throw at me.
One thing I’ve found helpful is to write my affirmations on sticky notes and place them around my home or workspace. That way, I can see them as a gentle reminder throughout my day. It’s amazing how a few kind words can shift your perspective and help you face challenges with a more positive outlook.
Take Small Steps Toward Your Goals:
Another way to quiet your inner critic is by taking small, manageable steps toward your goals. When I first started writing, the idea of publishing a post terrified me. But rather than focusing on the entire process and getting overwhelmed by perfectionism, I broke it down into smaller tasks. I’d tell myself, “Today, I’m just going to write the outline,” or “Today, I’ll focus on just the introduction.”
These smaller actions made the project feel more doable and kept my inner critic from spiraling into a frenzy of “You’re not good enough” thoughts. By taking it step by step, I realized that perfection wasn’t the goal—progress was. And progress, no matter how small, is always worth celebrating.
Embrace Imperfection:
At the end of the day, taming your inner critic isn’t about silencing it entirely or getting rid of self-doubt forever. It’s about accepting that perfection doesn’t exist, and that our flaws are part of what make us human. I’ve learned to embrace imperfection, not just in my writing but in all areas of my life.
When I let go of the need to be flawless, I found more room for creativity, authenticity, and growth. Instead of fearing failure, I began to view it as a natural part of the journey. And the more I embraced my imperfections, the quieter that inner critic became. It’s still there, but it no longer holds the same power over me.
Final Thoughts:
Taming your inner critic is a process. It takes time, patience, and practice. But by recognizing the voice for what it is, reframing your thoughts, practicing self-compassion, and taking small steps toward your goals, you can reduce its influence over your life. Remember, you are worthy of success and happiness, and the inner critic is just a small part of the story. With every step you take toward taming it, you’re also taking one step closer to embracing your true potential. So go ahead—silence the critic and make room for the voice that cheers you on.